Southwest Virginia Blogs

National flags of the World… with clients corrections.

If you’re looking for the perfect highbrow joke to tell at your next cocktail party… This isn’t it.

Juvenile Humor Warning: The Cook Shack–Gab & Grub: The Great Texas Chili Cook-off

I’ve heard it before and it still brought tears to my eyes. If you don’t think this is funny, you probably just haven’t had really good chili.

Somebody e-mailed this to me this morning. I couldn’t resist posting it.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport. Seeing a tall building, he flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.” The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position in Seattle. The pilot responded “I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”

The last great act of defiance

I contributed a little PhotoShop humor over at Argghhh! this morning. John supplied the original image, I added the tutu and the sword of course. I thought it came out nicely.

I was just about to post this, and I see that the image is posted at Villainous Company too.

OK, somebody has a copy of PhotoShop and a lot of time on their hands. When cloning goes wrong.

The Dilbert Blog has an interesting thought on the possibility that electronic voting machines can get hacked.

I believe those worries are totally misplaced. Now don’t get me wrong – there’s a 100% chance that the voting machines will get hacked and all future elections will be rigged. But that doesn’t mean we’ll get a worse government. It probably means that the choice of the next American president will be taken out of the hands of deep-pocket, autofellating, corporate shitbags and put it into the hands of some teenager in Finland. How is that not an improvement?

I’ve given that idea some thought, and I’ve realized that in an odd sort of way, I find it reassuring. Weird I know, but he’s right. It isn’t going to be some corporate schmuck that hacks it successfully, but some geek. We could do worse.

h/t to Lady Heather of Suburbia: Getting Revenge On Telemarketers

Three quotes today, all from Terry Pratchett

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for rest of his life.

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

The second quote is a little weird, but that’s just the mood I’m in today.

Three quotes today, all from Terry Pratchett

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for rest of his life.

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

The second quote is a little weird, but that’s just the mood I’m in today.

Scott Adams at the Dilbert Blog has a few thoughts on airport security.

Dangerous Containers

I was also concerned that they might go all Sherlock Holmes on me and ask why a guy with virtually no hair needs shampoo. I would probably say something like “Have you heard of phantom limb?” And then I’d have a metal detector so far up my ass that my fillings would set it off.

Scott Adams at the Dilbert Blog has a few thoughts on airport security.

Dangerous Containers

I was also concerned that they might go all Sherlock Holmes on me and ask why a guy with virtually no hair needs shampoo. I would probably say something like “Have you heard of phantom limb?” And then I’d have a metal detector so far up my ass that my fillings would set it off.

Scott Adams at the Dilbert Blog has a few thoughts on airport security.

Dangerous Containers

I was also concerned that they might go all Sherlock Holmes on me and ask why a guy with virtually no hair needs shampoo. I would probably say something like “Have you heard of phantom limb?” And then I’d have a metal detector so far up my ass that my fillings would set it off.

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
- P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
- P. G. Wodehouse

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
- Mae West

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
- Mae West

The Man Song. The funniest thing I’ve seen in quite some time.

h/t Cookie via e-mail

The Man Song. The funniest thing I’ve seen in quite some time.

h/t Cookie via e-mail

This is quite funny actually. Microsoft has several products in the top ten.

The 25 worst tech products of all time - InterGovWorld.com

These products are so bad, they belong in the high-tech hall of shame.

At PC World, we spend most of our time talking about products that make your life easier or your work more productive. But, it’s the lousy ones that linger in our memory long after their shrinkwrap has shriveled, and that make tech editors cry out, “What have I done to deserve this?”

I thought Internet Explorer 6 might rank higher, but being the eighth worst tech product of all time is pretty bad.

How insecure? In June 2004, the U.S. Computer Emergency Readiness Team (CERT) took the unusual step of urging PC users to use a browser–any browser–other than IE.

h/t Random Bytes

A little photo humor, or is that PhotoShop humor… The Navy borrows a recruiting photo from the Coast Guard, and gets caught by the Armorer. I followed up by accusing them both of stealing the photo from the Empire.

If the Emperor stops by, I have the hires version available where your crest is visible on the front of the helmet.